What I miss about my Great Dane:
- His deep bark whenever anyone came to the door or on the property
- His “whisper” he did in puppy training
- His fierce protection of our family
- His super soft ears
- His huge front paws
- How he was obsessed with food
- His kind, gentle nature
- His obsession with routine
- His intense dislike of any change
- Him in the garage every day as I worked out
- His whining at my TrueForm runner
- Being scared of his own shadow
- How he laid on the front porch every morning to soak up the sun’s rays, blocking the front door
- How he was insanely jealous of his sister, Jewel
- How he pulled during walks and I couldn’t ever get him to stop
- How he was afraid of the dog ramp
- How the first day we moved, he got out, when down a dirt road, and stopped and barked till we came and got him
- His look when he did something wrong, but he loped anyway
- His droopy eyes
- How he kept getting sunstroke when he couldn’t walk and got stuck in the sun
- How I picked him up every day when he couldn’t walk, not wanting to ever let him go…
- His cute winter sweater
- The day I knew he was ready to go home
You can watch his memorial video here:
I’m attempting to go about my routine with only a few tears here and there.
The reality is that there is a space that is left empty that my other pets cannot fill. Because they are not my kitty.
It’s progress that I’m not pushing. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.
Focusing on the good and not the bad.
Focusing on life and not death.
Focusing on the here and now.
My cat has lost weight recently and has not been eating.
We took her to the vet.
Diagnosis: kidney (or renal) failure.
Prognosis: not good.
There are things we can do to make her comfortable: give her fluids, change her diet, maintain low-stress environment.
But, ultimately, she’s dying. She could have months. Or a year.
Yet, somehow, I’m grateful.
Grateful that I know so we can not take her for granted. Grateful I can love her more. Grateful for the years she has given us.
This doesn’t mean it’s easy. It’s never easy to watch a pet die. I’ve held two of my dogs in my arms when they were dying. And I knew a little ahead of time it was coming.
The worst part is the helplessness of it all. Not being able to help. To make her better. To do anything. Except hold her and love her and cherish her.
While she’s here, we’ll make the most of it.
Love her till death and beyond.
We love you, dearest Emerald.